My Verson of TOS
by C. Helfrich
Summary: The adventure of Lloyd, a Pulverizer from ACLR, and various other characters from both games.
1. Chapter 1

My Version of Tales of Symphonia

By: Chelf12

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these games in this story.

Raine Sage: Lloyd Irving! Wake up this instant!

Lloyd Irving: Why should I? You're not my mommy!

Raine: Yeah, but remember what happened last time when you fell asleep?

(Flashback Starts)

(Lloyd gets head kicked off by Raine)

(Flashback Ends)

Lloyd: Oh that, I still hurt from that!

!RANDOM MOMENT!

Evangel: This is Evangel, Allience's Tactical Unit Commander...

Chelf12: Uhhh...dude, wrong game. Armored Core Last Raven is two sets over.

Evangel: Well, can't I stay here? I just get owned by you in ACLR.

Chelf12: That's up to the cast here.

Lloyd: I need a new buddy anyway!

Genis: Hey!

Lloyd: Genis, I'm sorry, but we all know magic sucks.

Genis: Fine then, I quit! (Stomps off the set)

Lloyd: Well, I guess you can stay Evangel!

Evangel: Yay, screw Alliance! They only paid me $68,000 an hour anyway.

Chelf12: Wait!? $68,000 an hour!?

Evangel: Yup.

Chelf12: Fine then, I'll pay you $68,000.01 an hour!

Evangel: Yay! That's more than I make then at my old job!

!END RANDOM MOMENT!

Lloyd: That sure was random.

Chelf12: That's why they are random!

Raine: When is that light supposed to flash!?

(7 hours 33 minutes and 8 seconds later)

Raine: Your move Evangel. (moves Queen forward)

Evangel: (Moves his Bishop to other side of the board). King me!

Raine: Is the light going to flash anytime soon?

Chelf12: I guess I forgot to mention...the temple forgot to pay the fancy light bill, so I cut them off.

Raine: You shoulda told me! (Rushes off to temple)

Colette: Can I leave yet?

Chelf12: Fine then, Take 5 people!

END OF CHAPTER

Well, next time we'll see more crazy antics from Evangel, and see Jack-O make an apperance. Read and Review, NO FLAMES!!! (Otherwise I'll sic Evangel on you!)


	2. Chapter 2

My Version of Tales of Symphonia

By: Chelf12

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these games in this story.

Evangel: Geez, Look at this temple! I wonder if there are any AC Parts inside?

Chelf12: If so, its too late!

(Quad-Pulverizer appers)

Chelf12: Hey look! Its everyone's favorite un-manned unit, the Pulvie!

Pulverizer (in a British tone): Well I never! I feel like killing this conviently near-by guy with the flail now!

(Kills Vidarr)

Chelf12: That saves me a WHOLE chapter!

Pulverizer: Want to bore the minds out of your readers by chatting with me over a spot of tea old bean?

Chelf12: Sure, why not? Not like they have a back button on their browser or something like that!

Jack-O: Actually they do.

Chelf12: Go away! You'll make things intresting again!

Jack-O: Fine then, see if I care, I mean the only person reading this by now is probably JoeyHyrulesHero (I know, a shameless plug! Read his work!).

Pulvie: I know, that's why he's on my DO-NOT-KILL list.

Chelf12:This isn't going ANYWHERE!

Lloyd: Are we even still in Tales of Symphonia anymore?

Chelf12: Yeah, I just felt like putting a Pulverizer in.

(In the temple)

Kratos: We need that ring to get inside the door!

Pulvie: No we don't! (Slashes door open with dual MOONLIGHTS.)

Chelf12: Wow, that saved me another chapter! YAY FOR PLOTHOLES!

END OF CHAPTER

Yes, I know, rather bad, but still, at least I have a Pulverizer in there now. (If you don't know what a Pulverizer is, Google "Armored Core Last Raven Pulverizer" and look it up!)

Preview of Chapter 3: Yay! Zinaida makes an apperance! (Much to the dismay of Evangel and the Pulvie!).


	3. Chapter 3

My Version of Tales of Symphonia

Disclaimer: I do not (and never will) own these games.

Chapter 3

Evangel: The start of another chapter! Yay for more chapters!

Lloyd: Hey, where's Remiel?

Colette: I dunno, I'll just take the Cruxis Crystal and leave now.

Zinaida: I collected the bounty on Remiel, so you'll have to deal with me!

Colette: Wait, you just killed a major character in the story!?

Zinny: Yep, talk about major plotholes!

CUT!

Chelf12: Ok, we need a new Remiel...

Jack-O: Remember, they have a back button!

Chelf12: There's no such thing as a back button! HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! THE GUY AT THE KEYBOARD! DON'T TOUCH THAT ARROW THAT GOES TO THE LEFT!

Colette/Lloyd: Why is he screaming at air?

ACTION!

Zinny: I dunno, he's crazy!

Chelf12: Hey, I heard that!

(Chelf12 obtains the title of Crazy Person)

Colette: Well, first he screams at air, and now there are mysterious voices everywhere. I really need to cut my Red Bull consumption down to 6 packs a day.

Lloyd: Can we leave now? This music is getting on my nerves.

Evangel: Can we leave Zinaida here? I don't like her.

Pulvie: Yeah, especially since I couldn't hit the inside of a barn if both doors were shut and I was standing in it.

Chelf12: Well, fine then, Zinaida, you are the new mysterious voice! I fired the other one.

Jack-O: What about me? I want a job too!

Kratos: Jack, I hate to tell you this, but we only need one serious person for this story.

Jack-O: Fine then, I'm leaving!

(Back at Iselia)

Lloyd: Well see ya tommorow Colette!

Colette: Fine, whatever (dang stalker).

Lloyd: Now what was I supposed to do again? Oh yeah, go see that old coot, Marble.

(At the human ranch)

Marble: About time! I was getting bored waiting here!

Lloyd: Well, where's Genis?

Marble: Oh, he's having tea and crumpets with Forcystus.

Pulvie: Ooh, I wish I could eat...

Desian: Hey! Old lady!

Marble: He did it! (Points to Lloyd)

Lloyd: Lady, when I save..err..take over the world, you die first! (Jumps off cliff) (Wile E. Coyote style fall) (Makes a SPLAT!)

Chelf12: Well now, that won't work, he's dead! (Uses Author Powers to revive him)

Lloyd: I'm alive!

Chelf12: Yes, you are, just don't jump off anymore cliffs.

!SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!

Chelf12: Read JoeyHyrulesHero's work! It's great! Right Evangel?

Evangel: Yeppers!

!END OF SHAMELESS PLUG!

Chelf12: I think I crammed enough into this chapter!

!END OF CHAPTER!

Well, in Chapter 4, we see the old lady get killed, a major plot twist, more titles, Jack-O, and Bolt (another AC in ACLR).


	4. Chapter 4

My Version of TOS

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here (except the story).

Chapter 4

Chelf12: Ooh boy...another chapter, another day...

Evangel: Can we just skip to Iselia in ruin?

(Evangel obtains the title of Plothole Supporter)

Chelf12:Ummm...no!

Pulvie: I feel like saying this...SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!

Pulvie: Me and Mike are bestest buddies (At least I think so). So do us a favor and read JoeyHyrulesHero's work please.

END SHAMELESS PLUG

Chelf12: Well, at least that got us to Iselia.

Pulvie: Everything is on fire! YAY! Hotdog roast! (Sticks two hotdogs to his blades and holds them over a burning house)

Forcystus: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bet you weren't expecting that!

Chelf12: Actually we were!

(Forcystus obtains the title of Predictable Villain)

Forcystus: Well, I bet you weren't expecting this!

(Genis walks out)

Genis: Yes, I am now a member of the Five Desian Grand Cardnials! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

(Genis obtains the title of Person who can't Count)

Chelf12: Umm...idiot, that would make you the SIXTH Grand Cardnial.

Evangel: Ummm...(counts on his fingers)...he's right!

(Evangel has earned the title of First Grader!)

Genis: I always was smarter than Lloyd!

Chelf12: Okay then, whats the Square Root of 81?

Genis: 6.92589326349324328.

Chelf12: Umm...no, thats wrong!

Lloyd: 9!

Chelf12: Lloyd's right you know!

Genis: Fine then, I'll kill you all!

Forcystus: GENIS!!!! Didn't you listen in Villain Class 101? You're supposed to sic a monster on them!

Genis: Oh yeah. (Sics Marble on them)

Marble: Roar! (Gets killed by Pulvie)

Pulive: Me 2, Villains 0.

Mayor: I'm banning you from the village Lloyd!

END OF CHAPTER

Can't say you were expecting that? Tee hee, Bolt didn't get in this chapter, mostly because Pulvie doesn't like him!


	5. Chapter 5

My Version of Tales of Symphonia

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these games (but I bought them!)

Chapter 5

Pulvie: Hooray! I get a buddy in this chapter!

Chelf12: You weren't supposed to spoil that!

Jack-O: Ha ha! Serves you right! There is a back button on their browsers!

Chelf12: Uhh...no there isn't. Now shoo! (Chases Jack-O off with a giant stick)

Lloyd: Well, either way, who is this new buddy?

Pulvie: He's one of my bestest buddies, the Tank Pulver!

Pulvie#2: Hi everyone! My name is Tank Pulverizer!

Pulvie: Hooray! Yeah, but you'll be known as Pulvie #2!

(In the Triet Desert)

Lloyd: It's too hot!

Chelf12: Not for me, I'm riding on Pulvie! He has air conditioning built into him!

Lloyd: Lemme on!

Chelf12: Uhhh...no.

Evangel: Who cares about you anyway? I'm fine, and I'm riding Pulvie #2.

(Later on, in Triet)

Desian Guard: Lloyd Irving, come with us!

Lloyd: Do you have air conditioning?

Desian Guard: Uhhh...yeah. We have air conditioning.

Lloyd: Yay, see you losers!

Evangel: We gotta rescue him!

Kratos: I know! Now be quiet!

Colette: Professor Sage, what can we do?

Raine: Leave him here! Not like we care, do we?

Chelf12: Hey, wheres Pulvie #1?

Pulvie: Hey, I'm back! I destroyed the base with my laser cannons!

Lloyd: I liked it there! It had AC!

Chelf12: Geez, if you think this is hot, just wait until the Seal of Fire!

!END OF CHAPTER!

I know, a rather short chapter, but you got to meet Pulvie #2! So just be happy with what you get, and next we visit the Fire Seal and see Zinaida again, yay!


	6. Chapter 6

My Version of TOS

Disclaimer: I bought, but do not own these games.

Chapter 6

Lloyd: You had to drag me out of that cozy base!

Pulvie: They were going to kill you!

Lloyd: So? It had AC!

(Later at the Seal of Fire)

Lloyd: It's hot here!

Chelf12: Umm...duh!

Evangel: I'm fine.

Pulvie: We can withstand heat, so it doesn't really matter much!

Pulvie #2: Why do I even care?

Jack-O: Back button!

Chelf12: There isn't a back button! (Chases after him with a giant laser cannon and misses, but opens path to Seal of Fire).

Colette: Hooray for bad aim!

(In the Seal Room)

Zinaida: It's about time! I was getting bored!

Chelf12: Just give her powers so we can leave! Lloyd is really annoying me!

Lloyd: Its too hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Falls dead of heat-stroke)

Chelf12: Not again! (Uses Author Powers to revive him...again!)

Zinny: Here's your powers, now allow me to go. Please go to the Seal of Water as soon as possible!

Evangel: How 'bout not? I'll avoid the Seal of Water!

Pulvie: I know, I wanna avoid it too! I don't have Hover Leg Attachments!

Pulvie #2: Well, I gotta go, I have to destroy G. Faust now, see ya!

(Pulvie #2 has left the party)

Chelf12: Well, I guess we gotta go to the Ossa Trail next.

!SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!

Zinny: Read JoeyHyrulesHero's work! Otherwise I will collect the bounty on your head!

!END SHAMELESS PLUG AND CHAPTER!

Wow, they head to the Ossa Trail next, I wonder who they will meet there? Yes, one of my shortest chapters yet, but really, I do have a LONG chapter planned for the Tower of Salvation! Oh, Read & Review, just no flames, otherwise Zinny will kill you all!


	7. Chapter 7

My Version of Tales of Symphonia

Disclaimer: I do not own any games mentioned in this story (but I bought them!)

Chapter 7

Pulvie: Hooray! Lucky seven!

Evangel: Yes, woo...lucky number seven.

????: Which one of you is the chosen?

Colette: I am, what's it to you?

????: Then prepare to die!

(Falls down the mineshaft)

????: I'm alive...I think...(moans in pain)

Lloyd: Wow, she had big you-know-whats!

Chelf12: Perv!

(On the summit of the mountain)

Pulvie: Wow, it's pretty up here!

Lloyd: I don't care!

(Pulvie pushes Lloyd off a cliff)

Chelf12: Not again...(uses author powers to revive him)...this gets old quick!

????: Aha! I've found you!

(Gets blasted by a laser)

Joey: Hehehe...

Mike: We decided to join you! Hooray for us!

(Joey and Mike have joined the party! Yay!)

Joey: I don't think I killed her...I think...

Pulvie: Nah, my sensors are still reading life signals from inside the cave.

Chelf12: Well then, let's leave so Lloyd will stop staring at "that" region.

Pulvie: Well, it's off to Izoold, and then to Palmacosta.

(In Izoold)

Pulvie: Who needs a ship when I found Hover-Leg parts?

Merchant: That'll cost you 950,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Gald.

Pulvie: Okay! (Takes out Lloyd's credit card) Charge it!

Mechant: Whatever!

Mysterious Voice: Pulvie is now Hover-Pulvie!

Pulvie: Yay for me!

Lloyd: Hey, where's my credit card?

Pulvie: I bought something with it.

Lloyd: That's fine, how much did it cost?

Pulvie: 950,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Gald.

Lloyd: Hey, that's more than what Bill Gates has!

(Lloyd has earned the title of Person Who'll Be In Debt Forever! Hooray!)

Mike: Awww...I want a title...

Chelf12: Sorry, you got to earn it!

Joey: Can I have a title?

Chelf12: Sure!

(Joey has earned the title of Light Suit Joey!)

Pulvie: Well, let's go!

(Everyone piles onto Pulvie)

Pulvie: Well, lets go! (Starts moving over the water to Palmacosta)

!SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!

Mike/Pulvie: Read Joey's work! It's what gives us our paychecks!

!END CHAPTER!

Well, well, well, now that the group has two "new" friends, what'll happen next?

I dedicate this chapter to Patrick Herendeen (Warick), for his 16th birthday! Happy B-Day, Patrick!

R&R no flames! Flames are NOT welcome!


	8. Chapter 8

My Version of TOS

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these games, nor do I make $$ off of them!

Chapter 8

Joey: Are we there yet?

Pulvie: Uhhh...yes, we are.

(In Palmacosta)

Chelf12: Ooh...look what I stole! (Flashes Lloyd's credit card)

Mike: I want to visit the academy so I can outsmart Joey!

Joey: I'm smarter than you!

Chelf12: Let's just find out, shall we?

(At the Academy)

Chelf12: Question #1: What is Pulvie's real name?

Mike: Pulverizer!

Chelf12: Correct! Now, since I believe in punishment, every time someone gets one wrong, or does answer, gets an electic shock that gets worse and worse! Hooray for punishment! (shocks Joey)

Mike: That looked like it hurt!

Chelf12: Uhh...duh.

Chelf12: Question #2: Who created this story?

Mike: You did!

Chelf12: Yup! (Shocks Joey again)

Joey: (Twitches in pain)

Chelf12: Final Question: How badly do you think Joey is hurt?

Joey: Too much!

Mike: Not enough!

Chelf12: I hate whiners, so...(shocks Joey). Well, that was fun! (Removes shock collars)

Lloyd: I don't like being shocked . 

Magnius: Yeah, but I'm a-gonna kill you!

Pulvie: (Destroys Magnius with blade arms...again.)

!END OF CHAPTER!

Man, don't you LOVE short chapters? I do! They rock! I just saved myself money by killing Magnius out of the blue! HOORAY FOR PLOTHOLES!

Yes, next they head to Asgard and well...they meet the fight of their lives!

I know, it was a short chapter, and it took me a LONG time to post it, mostly because i had to go camping . 


End file.
